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From this week’s Onion:

Entertainment Lawyer ‘Fighting The Good Fight’

NEW YORK—Although he works long hours for less than seven figures a year, entertainment lawyer Jude Mortison said knowing that he is “one of the good guys” makes it all worth it. “I might not be one of those big fancy city-courthouse types, but I do my part,” said Mortison, who tracks down song lyrics used in published works without proper permission and secures the requisite legal and penalty fees for music publishers. Mortison, who bills $800 an hour, added that the look of satisfaction on the face of Warner Brothers executives is all the additional payment he needs.

Reading this gave me the same “Onion editors are in my head” feeling as reading the “What’s Your Favorite Commedia Dell’Arte Stock Character?” infographic (Pulcinella: 0.2%; Arlecchino: 0.1%; Il Dottore: 0.1%; No idea what you’re talking about: 99.6%) while an undergraduate theatre geek.

UPDATE: The Onion has just opened their archives on the web. Thus, I can provide a link to the infographic in question. (My memory of it was nearly accurate — not bad for a six-and-a-half-year-old newspaper gag.)